Humiliation vs Affirmation

I now have proof that I am not diseased. I feel that I had proof before this, but my husband did not. He wanted it in writing from a doctor.

I know I needed to get tested to attempt to regain trust from my husband. I know this was one of those 'gifts' my therapist spoke of that I could give to him and start to rebuild. But it still felt like a dig. A very big dig.

It humiliated me, having to go in and explain to a nurse practitioner that I had an affair and needed to be tested for STDs. And my husband knew it humiliated me. And no matter how much he denies it, a small part of him (or maybe not so small) delighted in this fact. Maybe delighted isn't the correct word, but he felt some type of joy or happiness in making me do this. It was a small way to 'get back at me.'

So here I am, confirmed to be disease-less. Flippin yee-ha. It's what I knew all along but could not be believed enough to value.