Hope
Today was a gift from the heavens. Though I still felt the guilt in the pit of my stomach, it wasn't overwhelming. I didn't call myself a whore. And best of all, there were no fights.
Nothing spectacular happened today, but it was the best day since Mother's Day. Yes, it's true. I haven't had a 'good' day since May 6th. That's three weeks ago. Three weeks may not seem like a long time, but when they're all horrible days, trust me, three weeks feel like a lifetime.
Today we cleaned out part of the garage so that my husband could once again park in a garage. He hasn't been able to do that for two months now. Then we played with my son, gave him a bath, and put him down for a nap. (One that lasted for only 15 minutes....damn fighter jets). After that it was off to the mall. For those that know me, the mall is my heaven. The gates open up and I can hear angels singing. You're laughing, I know, but I am being dead-serious. Anywho, there was a KICK ASS sale at New York & Company (the ONLY store in the world that has any flavor and merit to it), and I found over $80 worth of clothing. Actually, it's probably more like $200, just a KICK ASS sale (as I stated before).
I'm rambling, I know. I think it's because I'm happy. I feel....normal. I feel like my hyper self got to be unleashed for a bit today, and I am eating every second of it up. It is 11:21PM, way past my bedtime, but I don't want to go to sleep and lose this great day.
We also found a gorgeously contemporary couch that we are seriously thinking about purchasing for our upstairs "adult game room." I am psyched. I thought it would take forever to find something we liked, but we walked into JCPenney, and there it was, just waiting for us.
My husband fixed a delicious (and healthy) meal for dinner, we took a long stroll around the neighborhood with our son in the wagon, and then we watched 40 Year-Old Virgin. Hilarious movie. (There was a time of connection after the walk and before the movie, but in an attempt to keep this blog PG, I'll skip the details).
Today gives me hope. Things aren't perfect. I'm not sure they ever will be. But I have hope for a normal life. I have hope that my husband can learn to forgive me and my retched sins. I have hope that I can fight for my family and win. I have hope, and I want to hold onto that.
Nothing spectacular happened today, but it was the best day since Mother's Day. Yes, it's true. I haven't had a 'good' day since May 6th. That's three weeks ago. Three weeks may not seem like a long time, but when they're all horrible days, trust me, three weeks feel like a lifetime.
Today we cleaned out part of the garage so that my husband could once again park in a garage. He hasn't been able to do that for two months now. Then we played with my son, gave him a bath, and put him down for a nap. (One that lasted for only 15 minutes....damn fighter jets). After that it was off to the mall. For those that know me, the mall is my heaven. The gates open up and I can hear angels singing. You're laughing, I know, but I am being dead-serious. Anywho, there was a KICK ASS sale at New York & Company (the ONLY store in the world that has any flavor and merit to it), and I found over $80 worth of clothing. Actually, it's probably more like $200, just a KICK ASS sale (as I stated before).
I'm rambling, I know. I think it's because I'm happy. I feel....normal. I feel like my hyper self got to be unleashed for a bit today, and I am eating every second of it up. It is 11:21PM, way past my bedtime, but I don't want to go to sleep and lose this great day.
We also found a gorgeously contemporary couch that we are seriously thinking about purchasing for our upstairs "adult game room." I am psyched. I thought it would take forever to find something we liked, but we walked into JCPenney, and there it was, just waiting for us.
My husband fixed a delicious (and healthy) meal for dinner, we took a long stroll around the neighborhood with our son in the wagon, and then we watched 40 Year-Old Virgin. Hilarious movie. (There was a time of connection after the walk and before the movie, but in an attempt to keep this blog PG, I'll skip the details).
Today gives me hope. Things aren't perfect. I'm not sure they ever will be. But I have hope for a normal life. I have hope that my husband can learn to forgive me and my retched sins. I have hope that I can fight for my family and win. I have hope, and I want to hold onto that.
1 Comments:
I'm glad you finally got your much needed day of comfort. I hope its proof that even though what you are going through is tough, that it is worth it. =)
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