Lost

My best friend in the whole world was hurt last Friday. She was horribly, horribly hurt. I want to help her. I want to "fix" her. But I don't know how. And now all I can do is cry.

She was hurt just like I was hurt almost 13 years ago. Her pain has awakened my buried pain, and I just don't know how to deal. I am trying to be so strong for her. I am trying to be the perfect friend. I am trying so hard to do everything I am supposed to be doing, but I feel like I'm not doing anything at all.

I miss her. I miss her like crazy. I had no idea how much one week without her would affect me. It's killing me inside not being able to see her smile. But I have to keep strong. For her. For everyone at work. I don't know how much longer I can last.

I'm so afraid to say anything to anybody. I don't want them to not worry about her, because she's the one in real pain now. No one needs to worry about me, so I remain silent. And strong.

But I feel so alone. So lost. So raw.

God, please make all this go away. Why did you have to hurt my Sunshine? Why'd you have to take her from me?

(Sunshine, if you're reading this, please do not be upset with me. I just need to get this out. I'm so sorry if you're hurt by this at all. You're in enough pain; I don't want to be the cause of any more.)