Adoration

I love my husband. I adore him. I screw up, and he is patient as I fix things. I cannot believe I am so lucky to have a man so understanding as he is.

He is my light. He is my world.

I love you, H2. I really, truly love you.

Where Have All the Kitties Gone?

This morning I had three cats. Now I have only one. I'm sad in a way because they were both very cuddly cats, and we've had them both for years. I grew attached to them both very quickly. BUT, I am also glad in a way. Less litter stinkies. Less hair. Goodness, so much less hair. And now I should be able to have fresh flowers in the house. The two that left ALWAYS ate my flowers. Grrrrr.....

Plus, I know they will keep my little bro company. He's been lonely lately ever since his girlfriend dumped him like a hot potato. And he's a huge cat lover, so they will be well taken care of as well.

Buh bye kitties. Cya 'round.

Can't stand it

I hate drunk people. Especially drunk people who think they're being cute, and all they're being is obnoxious and pissing you off even more.

So infuriating.

Wish I could get away with punching them in the face. That's right. In the FACE!

Disappointment

As humans, we are bound and determined to disappoint others. Why is it then that we become so upset when others disappoint us?

I suppose it hurts so deeply because you never thought a person you loved would turn out to be who you thought they'd never become. It hurts to know that you were wrong. You were duped. It hurts to know that everyone told you what this person was like, but you defended them. You fought for them. You told them, "No, you're wrong. He's not like that." And then you find out in a blink of an eye that they are exactly what everyone was saying. Everyone else was right, and you were the foolish one to believe differently. You took a chance and believed in this person. And you got hurt.

He lied. More than once. To my face.

You saw the good in this person, and they threw it away. Again. It's disappointing. And sometimes devastating. But it's a life lesson. A painful lesson, but a lesson that is worth learning. Again. God, please help me to remember this lesson this time around. I don't know if I can handle a third go-around.

Sacrifice

Tonight I wanted to walk. I enjoy walking at night after the baby is in bed. If you're an avid reader of my blog (ha...like I have any of those), then you already know this. I did not walk tonight. I made a sacrifice.

My husband came home grumpy. I hate when he's grumpy. Who likes it when their spouse is grumpy? It just gets me grumpy, the baby grumpy, and everything is poo. That's right, I said poo. And how many times did I just say grumpy?

Moving on. He had a bad day. His intern at work is a doofus and messed things up. He was in a meeting from 9:30-2:30. He hit traffic on the way home. He went to pick up cheese, and they didn't have the right kind. Just a Murphy's Law type of day. Then he has mowing the lawn and working on houses (he's an architect...don't know if I've ever mentioned that) to look forward to after the baby goes down.

So I sacrifice. I decide I'll help. I volunteer to pick up the sticks in the backyard before he mows. This should save him a good thirty minutes of work. So I put on my workout shorts and my pedometer (hey, it's still working out, technically), and I get to work.

DAMN there are a lot of sticks in my backyard. Good GOD. No wonder he hates this job. I'm picking up sticks...la la la....minding my own business when I am suddenly ATTACKED by bugs. I am being nibbled alive! (I say nibbled and not eaten because really...what bug can really eat you?) I mean, I know I'm sweet. I know I am one of the most devine yummies of the world, but that doesn't mean I want to be nibbled to death. (Let me make myself clear: I like to be nibbled upon; just not by bugs...ew) Luckily my husband recognizes there will be nothing left of his wife if he doesn't act quick, and I am saved by spray Off.

I get a quick lesson in weedwackers, and I try my hand at that. Not so successful. I think I had too much fear. Back to picking up sticks.

Then for my greatest feat of all. I mowed. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I, Smiles Blank, mowed the backyard. Well, two lines up and down the hill. But you have to start somewhere, right? It wasn't so bad. It was actually a little bit fun. I doubt I'll be saying that as I add on more and more rows in the future.

No, I didn't get to walk tonight. I didn't get my peaceful escape. However, I sacrificed that for someone I love. And shouldn't we all strive to do that? Shouldn't we all be thinking about our loved ones before ourselves? I mean, a less grumpy husband means a less grumpy me. And we all know no one wants to see me grumpy.

Being Loved

There is no better feeling in the world than knowing you are loved. There are many types of love everyone experiences daily.

There's friendship love. A friend that sacrifices something that is important to him in order to spend a little time with you. A friend that notices small changes in your appearance and compliments you on them. A friend that knows your secrets and protects them willingly without having to be asked.

There's intimate love. A simple touch. A wide smile. A sly wink of the eye. Understanding what the other is feeling without having to be told. Helping the other without having to be asked. Listening. Sharing. Feeling.

Both these loves are strong and necessary in life, but neither is as powerful as the greatest love anyone can experience.

The love of a child.

Last night I had to work late. I arrived home only 45 minutes before my 13 month old son had to go to bed. I was upset that I wouldn't have much time with him. I walked into my living room, and I didn't see him. I called his name, and around the corner he came, laughing and smiling. He saw me and laughed even harder; he started running (his version of running, more like a slow jog) towards me with arms open wide and he slammed into my body for a hug.

Yes, love is a wonderful emotion. The love of a friend. The love of a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. The love of a child. Being loved makes my life worth living.

Redless

Why is it the minute I begin to like, no, love my red hair, it fades back to the dingy brown it was before? Ugh. There is no pleasing me.

The Last Four Days (boring post...don't read it)

Wow. What a weekend.

Thursday and Friday I was off work due to my best friend's wedding. Thursday I got my nails done, finger and toe. They looked so pretty. I was psyched. Then I went to get an oil change. Mundane detail, though I was happy for 30 minutes of peace and quiet which allowed me to read more of The Davinci Code. Mommies just have NO time to read. Then off to Anderson I went to calm both the bride and the groom. Fun. Really. (Can you sense the sarcasm?)

We had a rehearsal after that, and those always last longer than you think and hope they will. Off to the dinner. Then back home. Baby was not happy at the rehearsal since there were fun aisles to run up and down but Mommy and Daddy were too mean to allow him clearance. He was good at the dinner, though. Lots of yard to play in. Lots of cords and DVD holders to mess with. I can tell how much of a parent I have become: I grow annoyed very quickly when visiting houses that are not baby-proofed. I don't know why I do this. This family doesn't have any babies, yet I expect it to be proofed so that my child doesn't get into anything??? How arrogant of me. But at least I'm admitting how foolish I am.

The wedding day was hectic. Things were running a little late (which made me stressed more than I already was--I'm the time Nazi for those of you who don't know me), and then traffic was HORRID. We feared being late for the wedding, but all worked out. The wedding was absolutely fabulous. Both the bride and the groom got a bit choked up during the vows, which in turn made my sensitive self turn into a blubbering fool. Good thing I know myself pretty well and came prepared with a hanky tied around my bouquet. Good thinking, I know. The reception was fun, though I wish I could have gotten my 'white girl dancing' on a bit more. Had a TON of fun with "Cotton Eye Joe." Oh yeah---that's my song. Mmmm-hmm.

Saturday was miserably hot at the zoo, but the baby had a ton of fun at the splash area. I've never seen a kid get splashed directly in the face so many times and just laugh. He's great.

Sunday we went out to eat, went shopping at Kohls (they were having a sale....WOW...what a freaking surprise) and then went to see Open Houses. I found a house that I just LOVED, but unfortunately the yard was nonexistent. That's a must in my book.

Have you ever yearned to return to work? I haven't been there since Wednesday afternoon, and I can't wait to go back. I know, sounds odd. I love my job for various reasons, and after this whirlwind of a long weekend, I will be happy to return to my normal schedule. There's something to say about normalicy. At times, it can be quite comforting.

CRaZy dAy

Goodness gracious. Today was a DAY.

Work was fine. The boys were good, and plus, it was a Friday for me, so I was a little lax on the rules. But after work---whew!

I took the baby in for a checkup on his ears, and he STILL has a double ear infection. After 20 days of two different medicines, no less. So now 10 more days on a new medicine, which costs twice as much as the two before that.

And of course then I have to go over to MY doctor's to get a new perscription, so the baby was NOT happy about getting back into the car just to be ripped out again. Luckily, the NP must have felt guilty about making me wait 2 1/2 weeks before she got back to me because she gave me three months worth of "samples." Guess that makes up for the baby's expensive meds.

Well then, put the baby BACK in the car to go to Kroger to get his meds. Of course, Baby falls asleep right before we get there, so he's even MORE ticked when I have to wake him to go in. I wished so much that I could leave him in the car, but the news tells me that's a bad thing. *shocker*.

So then I think "at least I have aerobics." I get there and find out we're doing The Shredder aka the exercise class from HADES!!!! But I'm like "it's all right....I didn't go Monday, so this will be good for me." Yeah. BIIIIG mistake. About 5 minutes into the class, we're doing these leg squat things with weights on our shoulders. They hurt so bad, but I keep going. When I stand up to switch legs, I get this very odd and powerful headache around my head like a headband. It's so bad I have to stop. (Just so you know, I didn't even stop last month when I twisted my ankle). I go over to the wall and lean against it. After that, I'm suddenly sitting on the floor and everyone is talking to me. I guess I sorta passed out. I saw the man I love standing over me saying, "Hey, get up. Get up; you're okay. Please be okay." (For clarification, he wasn't there--must have been a nice little break from reality) They say my eyes were open and blinking, but I wasn't talking. SCARY! Heather, the instructor, thinks it was high blood pressure. I was leaning over a little and holding my breath, and after the exercise, I took a deep breath. She says she's seen it before. But it was still scary.

But of course, I still exercised. Nothing can stop me!!!

Redheads

I just got back from my walk. I joined a walking club at work about a month and a half ago. At first, I just joined because I am in a wedding coming up (this Friday!!) and I wanted to make sure I looked super-fabulous. But now, I am actually enjoying myself. I work out frequently during my lunch hour, and at times, I find a few minutes to go for a quick walk after the baby is down for the night.

Anywho--can you believe I get a heck of a lot more attention in my tank top and shorts than when I wear my husband's old tshirts and shorts? I mean, yea, I've got nice boobs, but I'm not THAT good looking. Or am I?

I dyed my hair red last week. My best friend is getting married Friday, and her colors are red and black. I thought it would be cute (okay, adorable really) to have red hair for the ceremony. At first, I hated it. But now, I'm really digging it. It's made me spunkier, if that's possible. (For those of you who don't know me, Spunky is my middle name. No, not really! It's a figure of speech, dillweed). I have this self-confidence that is just oozing out my pores now. I am HOT. H-O-T!

Yea, that's right boys. Stare at me as I walk right past your doorstep. Make eyes at me. Whistle. Pick your jaw up from the ground. Sexy Smiles is here, and she's here to stay. I'll be back tomorrow night, same time. Might be a good time to "water the plants."

fireworks

I used to love July 4th. I absolutely adore fireworks. One of the best things on earth is to lie on the ground with a loved one, staring up at the beautiful display of lights.

Now I am a mother, and as I hear neighbors setting off fireworks at 10 PM, I keep thinking, "If they wake up the baby, I'm going to commit murder."

Ahh....how motherhood changes you.