giddy

Ever have that feeling you had when you were a kid? You know--the feeling of freedom. No bills to pay. No job to get up for in the morning. The biggest worry you had was if Mom was going to make that awful meatloaf again. I had that today.

I bought a bike. It sounds corny, I know. My husband and I filled out this little survey that listed things we enjoyed to do. Bike riding was one we both ranked high. So we bought bikes.

I haven't ridden a bike in over 10 years, at least. It's an amazing feeling. I recommend a bike to everyone out there over 25. It'll make you feel 10 again. The wind was whipping through my hair. I was pumping my legs as fast as I could. I even did the whole "standing up to get more leverage" thing. I was carefree.

I was free.

Michael! Michael! Michael!

Ladies and gentleman, for your auditory pleasure (ladies...add in the visual pleasure for you), I'd like to introduce to you MICHAEL BUBLE! (For those of you who do not know how to pronounce French names, that's Booblay). www.michaelbuble.com in case you'd like to check him out.

I just got back from an amazing concert. This young man is so very talented. I cannot find the right words to say. What other 28 year old singer can entertain 1,000 concert-goers who range from the ages of 15 to 85??? His voice is so smooth and rich, and he's SO very sexy I could barely contain myself.

He is being called the new Frank Sinatra, and rightfully so. But, not only did he sing wonderful songs made famous by Blue Eyes, Bobby Darin (spelling??) and Van Morrison, he also entertained us with paradies of white rappers, Michael Jackson, and George Michael. He was hilarious, yet classy. Does that make sense?

Let's just put it this way. It may be blunt, but it's true. Michael Buble is getting men across the world laid. It's true. Men, go out and buy yourselves one of his CDs. It'll be the best $14.99 you've ever spent. Consider it an investment. Pop that baby into the CD player at the end of the date, and I guarantee some action!!!

Big Heart

I willingly let people into my heart. I welcome them. I make them feel at home. And then they leave. Or they hurt me in ways I didn't know possible. And then leave.

Why do I continue to do this? Why do I continue to have faith in human beings when I continue to get crushed? You'd think I'd learn. And I do, for a small period of time. And then something happens. I start to think "well, maybe this one is different."

At times I feel like I give and give, and my friends just take and take. Is this friendship?

Why would you intentionally hurt a friend? Even if you've gone through some bad times, I don't see the need for continual pain. You cared about that person at one point in time. How does that love just disappear? How can you turn your back on someone you loved?

And how do those of us that love so deeply, few that we may be, heal from all these losses? How do we learn to love again, and learn to be proud of our big hearts?

The Wind Knocked Out of Ya

Today started as a good day. I had to do practice sessions for the essay portion of the GED. This is usually not my job, but the English teacher who usually did these quit last week, so the assignment was handed over to me (me being an English teacher AND the GED teacher, this made complete sense). At first I wasn't too happy about the situation, but once the students arrived, I was totally ecstatic. See, I teach in a maximum secruity prison for juveniles. I don't get to "teach" very often, since all my classes are mixed with different grade levels, and all the students are on different lessons. It's more of a tutoring position rather than a teaching one. But I digress.

I was stoked. All the kids were attentive. They were asking all sorts of questions, and hanging onto my every word. I got to use my dry erase markers on the board. I got to teach a whole class once again. It's been a year and a half since I've experienced this, and I forgot how much I absolutely ADORE teaching.

Great day, right? Then the principal and vice principal call me into the office and motion for me to shut the door. They tell me they are thinking of hiring a social studies teacher instead of an English teacher (to replace the one that quit). No problem, right? Well, they've been kicking around the idea of having this new social studies teacher take over GED, and put me back to all English classes. Talk about being punched in the stomach. Ironic how they bring this up on the day I realize how much I adore my GED kids.

It's not fair. This whole GED program is my baby. I've developed it into what it is, and I have great visions for what it COULD be. And now they're telling me it could be ripped away from me? It's not a given, but it's a possibility. A possibility to have my happiness taken away. And why? I've done nothing wrong; I've done everything right. I've helped these kids. I've improved their education!!!

Mom always told me life's a bitch. I guess I just keep forgetting.

Mickey

Why am I so enamoured with an oversized rat? I absolutely adore Mickey Mouse. Is it his red shorts? His nonchalant attitude of bearing his chest at all times? Or is it his high-pitched voice always cheering "Hello boys and girls!"? Who knows. I just got back from Chicago where I saw twelve four feet tall statues of the great mouse. Hopefully, I'll be able to post a picture of one here sometime soon. That is, if I figure out how to upload the dang thing. Computers. Ugh!

Is it pathetic to be 26, hell, almost 27 and in love with Mickey Mouse?

I sure hope not.

Lonliness

Lonliness is a bitch. Ain't she? What is it about her? How does she sneak up on you like a shadow? She's a darkness that overtakes you before you even know you've blinked.

The thing I hate about lonliness is you can be completely surrounded by those who love you and still feel her presence.

I am loved. I don't have many friends, but I am loved. My husband absolutely adores me. He treats me wonderfully and romances me nonstop. I have a great friend named Vanessa. She knows me inside and out, yet we've only known each other a year. I get to see her every work day, which is amazing. Not many people get to see their friends five days out of the week.

Yet today, lonliness found me. What's worse is she wouldn't leave. I yelled. I screamed. I pushed. But she just wouldn't leave.

Why does she have to be such a bitch?

My First One

So, a friend of mine has a blog. I didn't even know what the heck a blog was until he said "hey, go to my blog." So I figured, "what the heck, let's go to his blog." I then realized it is simply a place to put down thoughts. I used to do this ALL the time way back in college. I'm old now. I make excuses why I don't have the time to write. They're all lame, pathetic excuses. He's a very busy man, so why can't a loser like me find time to write as well?

So here I am. Yea me. I have a blog. "woo woo woo woo" (chanting and twisiting my arm Arsenio Hall style).

Okay. That's enough for now. We'll see how long this lasts. I give it a week.